December 16th...another day in paradise

Seriously, it was. I am here. It is good. Not much more than that. Oh except that I met up with two dear friends. One of these days I will get all of my good friends together at the same time and have a total friend extravaganza! Until then, it is nice to know that I have some.

Peace! Oh, Happy birthday Ricky!

December 15th...Teach me...

Teach Me, by M.E. LaLuna, 2009

Teach me how to say “I Can”
I never really learned that phrase
It is something practiced everyday
For most…
Teach me how to reach to stars
I never really stretched that far
It is something reached for
Far away…
Teach me how to sail the seas
I never really set my sails
It is something only sailors dream
Isn’t it…
Teach me how you live each day
I never really took that breath
That fills and expands
A life…
Teach me how to be myself
I was never really introduced
Robbed at birth and forced to be
Someone else not me…
Teach me how to love
I only know how to say
Three words,
I practice everyday…
Show me that I can,
I am
Me…

December 14th...just another day...

It is/soon to be a was just another day. Waking up this morning, was not a pleasant experience. I was in a fog. I didn't want to get up. Mornings are hard enough for me, normally. I like to take my time, slowly wake up. I resent being rushed in the morning. I despise it. The perfect job for me would be one where I do not have to arrive until at least 9a.m. So what do I do? I get a job as a teacher, and my day begins at 7:15a.m. That all means that I have to awaken by 5:45 just so that I can get my keester out of the door in time to arrive by 7:15. The problem is that I do not get my nice slow pace. In order to do that I would have to be up by 4am! That is never going to happen. My bio-rhythms just will not allow for that. Seriously, I have been this way from the time I was a little girl. Me and mornings are just not friends. The perfect schedule is one where I wake up, when I wake up. No alarm clock, the natural way. If I was allowed to do that, I would wake up naturally at about 6:30. So, you see that would allow for a nice slow pace in the morning, with still enough time to get ready for work, and arrive on time.
But, today was just another day, and I woke up at 5:30, slowly stretched, made my coffee, showered, dressed, and ended up racing for school. The dress I chose, well, it was a little shorter then I remembered, so instead of a carefully layed out plan, I had to do a quick change, which made me rush all the more. Sometimes best layed plans are best layed aside. So, for Me it was just another day. Has anyone seen Santa?

December 13...See the power in the manger...

Passionate Sunset, that is the name of the my most recent watercolor. You see it has been a long held desire to capture the colors or the sky, the sea, the world around me. It is a labor of love if nothing else. This is based on a photo that was taken two summers ago. Sunsets are timeless, the sun will rise, and it will set. The power found in Lake Michigan is unmatched with the power of the sunset. The color, the radiance. The human eye can see the color, hear the roar of the waves, feel the power of the wind upon the face. If I were a blind woman, I would not see the sunset, yet, I would know that it exist, you see it would exist if I trust the seer next to me who described it to me. They would tell of the color, the power, the vibrancy, they would share with me, that the warmth I felt on my face was from the warmth of the sun. The glow that was reflected off of my face could be witnessed from on lookers, even if I was unable to see it, those gazing upon me, could see what I was unable to see. If I was deaf, I would not hear the roar of the waves, yet, I could sense the vibration. Others would explain that the sound was almost deafening, yet, it would not mean anything to me, as my existence is that of deafened sound. Sound would be a non-reality. So it is with faith.

You see, just as a blind man, cannot disprove or prove that which is seen by other, so it is that non-believers cannot disprove, nor can they prove the existence of God. Science cannot prove, or disprove. God defies logic, therefore, science cannot relate. For over 2,000 years man has bot been able to disprove Jesus Christ. Faith has grown. In over 4, 000 years man has been unable to disprove Abraham and Moses. Attempts fail over and over again. You see there is power in the manger.

December 12th...Santa lives in Kankakee!

It is true, I have come to this conclusion after 49 years of witnessing Christmas, and pondering the true existence of the fat man in the jolly red suit! Santa lives in Kankakee Illinois, United States of America. Now, I am sure beyond belief that many of you will heartedly disagree. But, rest assured, not only do I know what I am talking about, I have 49 years worth of evidence.

This very day as I was putting together a new recording of Christmas songs, and a reading or two, it hit me. Suddenly stories that I had read in the past to my children, students, and to myself were falling flat. "where in the world is my Christmas spirit that stories that use to fill my eyes with tears were now so trite, so flat, so unemotive?" It was then that it dawned on me. They were in fact far too cliche. It was then that I recalled the last time I had a true Santa moment. Evidence that Santa lives in Kankakee? The last Santa moment was in Kankakee.

I came to realize when I was a little girl that Santa did not exist, well, that is what my girlfriend's mother would try to make me believe. IT is sad, for as you stop believing, it does stop existing. We can make things disappear you know simply, by no longer believing in them. This is science ya' know.

I was so sad that year, what would I do, how could I go forth into another Christmas without the Santa spirit. It was upon discussing this problem with my Mom that she told me "as long as you believe, Santa will come." She was wise, and so it goes, that I have held that belief.

I moved away from Kankakee in the summer of 05' after living there for almost 45 years. I was born and raised there, raised my children there. I was for financial, post-marital, and professional reasons forced out of my home.

I swear since I have moved away from Kankakee, I have no longer had my yearly encounters with the jolly old elf. Seriously, every Christmas by the 23rd of December, I would have an encounter, that would convince me that he indeed still exist. Well, it is now the 12th of December 2009 and I have not really had that special kind of encounter. It does not exist anywhere else in the world, so therefore, Santa must in fact reside in Kankakee Illinois.

I remember all too well, the year there was no Santa..., I could simply say, "well ME, it is time for you to grow up and walk away from childhood fantasies" or, I could simply say, "ME, it is time for you to believe again."

December 11th...short and sweet...

Yep, that is what tonight's post is, short and sweet. Considering that I do not know if anyone is really reading this, I can kind of trust that it is like my daily diary. I promised myself that I would write everyday until the 25th of December. I am not sure how well I will be able to do this as I am going to be moving about the countryside, and I am not certain if I will have internet access. Either way, it is my mission to just that, get back into writing for the pleasure of writing.
Today was relatively uneventful, well, that is unless you take into consideration the multitudes of things that I did, and successfully accomplished.
The highlight of today? My fortune found tucked away in a cookie obtained at my new favorite restaurant in the Michigan City area. The Pearl, a quaint little chinese establishment. Oh, the quote, " you will be showered with good luck before your next birthday. Hmmmm, yep, short and sweet...

Peace

December 10, 2009...She would have been 80 today!

My birth mom, Mary Caroline Link, it is hard to imagine her 80. I wish so much that I wasn't wondering, but holding her hand. My momma's hands. What would they feel like wrapped in mine? I would be able to be a much better daughter to her now that I am facing the age that she was when she left us. Only 51! Damn it! That is way too young, way too young. Her beauty left us way too soon! I didn't hold her hand enough, I didn't think I would ever not have it to hold on to. I learned way too young that life is not fair.
Her curly strawberry blond hair, her green eyes, her strong, but lovely features. I still hear her voice singing through mine now and then. Not too often, but when I do, I just want to hold it put it on pause, and listen for a while longer. It passes so quickly, and I wonder if I will get to hear it again.
I am not only remembering her soft hands, her grace, but the love of those that she loved, and loved her in return. In particular my Uncle Chuck. She was the love of his life. A bachelor, he never really ventured too far from her, from us. A free spirit, he roamed, but guaranteed on the 10th of December he called his Mary. After she passed away, he would call on one of his nieces or nephews, anything to be close to her. To hear some semblance of her spirit. He is gone now too. He departed from us this past spring. It was hard to see him suffer, to go. We made sure he had soft hands to hold.
Well, Uncle Chuck, you don't need to call us tonight, you are with her. Hold her hand, and if there is anyway that you can, let me know how soft it is. Tell her I sang you to sleep with Dougie, and let me hear the two of celebrate her being 80 today!
I will love you forever, and ever, and ever!

Little Lizzy